God Is a Father? Do I Really Need Another One?

Father?

Father.

We’ll be celebrating Father’s Day this Sunday at Verve. God calls himself our “Father.” That makes some of us smile. But not all of us. Not me.

When you think of the word father you may not have memories of going out in the backyard and playing catch. You’re not thinking of someone who took you out for root beer floats on a summer evening. The word you think of when you hear father might be “absent.” Or maybe even the word “abusive.”

Both of those words describe what “father” meant to me. When I first heard God calls himself a father, I thought, “Well, that’s the last thing I need.” Maybe you get that.

We need to understand what kind of father God is.

God Is a Loving, Not Controlling Father

So many view God as an angry slave driver who cannot be pleased. You may think that way about God, perhaps because you had an earthly father for whom you could never be good enough. If that’s how you see God, it’s hard to respond to him in the right way. You’ll be intimidated by his standards, keep trying harder to meet them, and feel like a failure when you don’t. Eventually you may give up, or just rebel against him.

I love what Paul says, “You did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear” (Romans 8:15). God is not someone to be afraid of. We need to understand, “God is love” (1 John 4:8) and “perfect love drives out fear.” God is love, and that leaves no space for fear.

You may ask, “Well, if God is loving, not controlling, why does he give us so many rules?” Why? Because he is our father. 

When I was a kid, I hated it when there was a rule that seemed to make no sense. I hated it more when I would ask, “Why?” and the answer was, “Because I said so.”

Sometimes we wonder if God puts all the rules into the Bible because he’s some kind of power trip. He doesn’t have good reasons for his rules, it’s just, “Because I said so.” But no, God gives us rules because he is a loving father looking out for his kids.

My kids have to trust that I know what’s best for them. When they were young, if I had put them in charge, we would have had candy and ice cream three times a day. They would have worn shorts outside in the snow and stayed up all night. They may have thought my rules were unfair, but I don’t give them rules because it is fun to do. I give them rules because I love them.

It’s the same with God. “God is good to everyone, and his compassion, his love, is intertwined in everything he does” (Psalm 145:9).

God is a perfect father who loves you with a perfect love.

God Is a Close, Not Distant Father

My father walked out on us just before Christmas when I was eleven years old. Perhaps your dad was absent, either physically or emotionally. It may lead you to think of God as distant. You wonder if he’s even there, if he notices you, if he listens when you pray.

If your dad was distant, you need to know that’s not God. In fact, the story of the Bible is the story of God closing the gap between himself and humanity. In the Old Testament, people kept distancing themselves from God by their sin, but God continuously pursues them. In the New Testament, God shows up in Jesus. Now God was with us. Then Jesus leaves, but God comes even closer through the Holy Spirit. Now God was in us.

That Romans 8:15 verse, which starts by assuring us that we are not slaves and don’t need to fear, continues, “And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’”

Abba is an intimate term of endearment. It’s the Aramaic word for “Daddy” or “Papa.” It’s the least formal word for a father; the word a small child uses when he climbs onto his dad’s lap or jumps into his arms.

That’s the way God wants you to relate to him. Jesus came to bring us into relationship with God, and to show us how to be in relationship with God. How do we relate to God? Jesus called God, “Abba.”

God is not an authoritarian figure. He is a perfect daddy, and we are his sons and daughters. When you live in that kind of relationship with him, you find yourself loving God more and more. You find yourself wanting to talk to him.

God’s Refrigerator

You may not have had the earthly father you wanted, but you do have the heavenly father you want. He’s the perfect father you need. I love what Max Lucado writes about God’s feelings for you:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If God had a wallet, your photograph would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He gives you the sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, he’s willing to listen. He could live anyplace in the entire universe but he chooses to reside in your heart. Face it, friend. He is crazy about you.

You’ve got a perfect father who loves you with a perfect love.

He’s loving, not controlling.

He’s close, not distant.

He’s crazy about you.